Renowned Nigerian dancer and fitness expert, Kafayat Shafau, popularly known as Kaffy, has opened up about the challenges of dating as a single mother following her divorce.
Speaking candidly during her appearance on The Honest Bunch Podcast, Kaffy shared how societal perceptions of single mothers—especially those with children—often hinder their chances at finding love.
“I’ve had someone tell me he couldn’t date me simply because I have two children,” she revealed.
Kaffy, who is a mother of two, questioned the stigma attached to divorced women in the dating scene, arguing that personal growth after divorce can often make someone a more emotionally mature and capable partner.
“What makes you think a woman who has been divorced isn’t a better candidate—especially if she has worked on herself? There’s no guarantee that two people who’ve never been married won’t end up divorced. Yet society insists on ‘fresh starts’ as if that determines success.”
She went on to challenge the notion that being divorced somehow makes someone less desirable, noting that over 70% of marriages end in divorce, regardless of how they began.
“Why do people feel like they have to marry someone with no past, when statistically, you could still end up in the same group—divorced? We need to rethink what qualifies someone for love and partnership,” she added.
Redefining Love: “Butterflies Might Be Anxiety”
Kaffy also shared her perspective on love, expressing concern over how people often mistake anxiety for emotional excitement.
“Those butterflies in your stomach? That could be anxiety, not love,” she said. “Real love should bring peace, not restlessness.”
Her comments have resonated with many online, particularly among women who feel the pressure of societal expectations around marriage, motherhood, and second chances.
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